“I have an exclusive Costco membership. I can buy large quantities of useless stuff.” – Yes Man
I ran to Costco two Sundays ago to pick up two cartons of eggs from which my sister was going to concoct breakfast. I quickly found the eggs and then remembered that I was to look for craisins as well; I wasn’t certain where these were located and so consequently, I began to make my way up one aisle and down the rest in an effort to find them.
As I wandered along in this fashion, I found myself either in front of, behind, or passing the same guy over and over and over again. Flustered, I walked faster and tried to scan the aisles quicker, he appeared to be doing the same and our meetings still happened. Finally, I walked to a completely different section of the store and saw some mixed dried fruit and so I ducked down that aisle thinking that I had at last found the craisins. Instead, I found myself on the candy aisle and who should be there studying the snickers most faithfully but the man I had been chasing (unwillingly) up and down the aisles on the other side of the store. Rather than meet his eyes again, I braked rapidly and traced my steps in double-time back up the aisle where I nearly collided with a lady who obviously is not aware of the rudimentary laws regarding right of way in store aisles. She yelped, I apologized, and once again I met the eyes of the man. Awkward. Beyond words.
I quickly located the craisins a few aisles up and raced the checkout in the hopes that the man was still studying candy bars on the sin aisle. As I walked towards the shortest line, who should be heading towards it as well but that wonderful individual. Yes, our eyes met again. I flushed in the most awkward manner and then ducked into the nearest checkout as if that had been what I was heading for the entire time. There was an awkward moment of indecision on his part as he weighed his checkout options. Thankfully, he chose the shorter wait.
I made it through the checkout in good time and then walked to the door to hand my receipt to the gentleman standing guard over the exit. He examined my receipt carefully, “Just three items?” he said as he gestured to my laden arms. “Yup, that’s it.” I said. He stared at me, “Really? Just three?” I stared back a little uncomfortable. “Yes, just three. Did I pay for more?” I tried to look at the receipt. He pulled it away and stared at me still harder, “That is odd, people usually buy more.” I squirmed and shifted the egg cartons, “Umm, well this is all I needed… sooo…” I tried to keep it light, but really he was starting to make me feel very ill at ease indeed. He stared at me for a while and then handed me my receipt. I grasped it and raced out the door to freedom, he called after me, “Have a great weekend!”
At my car, I quickly loaded my groceries into the backseat and shut the door. As I did so, the trunk slammed on the car across the lane from me, I glanced over and once again found my eyes met by the eyes of the man who I had alternately followed and been chased by around the store. Feeling completely awkward at this point, I jumped into my car and rapidly drove off before something else awkward happened. Weird day!!
The Adventures of a Dame in a Strange Land 